Dear Reader,

Let’s get straight to the point. Zahid Hamidi is a desperate drowning man clutching at straws and Anwar Ibrahim is promising to throw him a lifeline in the form of a flimsy life-jacket filled with holes. Zahid is making trouble to save his own skin while the rest of the nation is trying to deal with a pandemic that isn’t letting up.

Zahid doesn’t care about noble ideals or saving the nation. Seriously. You know it and I know it and now let me put it to you point by point. All that shit about ultimatums to convene Parliament (which is now moot because Parliament will be convened as announced by the PMO) and SDs are just excuses to blur the lines, muddy the waters, buy time, threaten Muhyiddin and ultimately bring down the Government.

Khairy Jamaluddin is screwing Europe upside down over it’s hoarding of vaccines; Azmin Ali is off to Qatar to get the Arabs to pour more FDI into Malaysia and help resuscitate our economy; Ismail Sabri is ensuring that MKN decisions are streamlined; Fadillah Yusof is telling construction contractors to stop all activities so that we don’t have clusters there; and then you have Zahid Hamidi playing politics with his daily shenanigans disguised as meetings that arrive at nothing but more meaningless speculations, just to save his ass.

Zahid is freaking out and running around frantically like a headless chicken flapping his wings because in less than a month, he will be in court. Yes, in open court, my friends, on the 5th of August when all his misdeeds will be read out in a litany of mind-boggling charges ranging from 12 criminal breach of trust, 8 corruption charges and 27 money laundering charges involving a whopping RM117 million belonging to Yayasan Akalbudi. Lawyers call this an open-and-shut case. GMJ – Gerenti Masuk Jail. Read: 

Yayasan Akalbudi is supposedly a charitable foundation set up to assist the poor, especially orphaned children, and poor disabled children. The truth it, Zahid was using the foundation to launder his _duit haram_. If that wasn’t bad enough, the foundation became his personal slush fund to pay his credit cards and other bills. Read:

The prosecution will present incontrovertible evidence and lay out the dirty details piece by salacious piece and the media will have a field day covering the proceedings minute by minute. You will get to read about every sordid and despicable financial transfer Zahid was personally involved in and before the end of the day, you will more than likely agree with the prosecution lawyers too that Zahid is finished. And Zahid doesn’t want this. Zahid also doesn’t want to go to jail.

Zahid tried to get the PM, Muhyiddin Yassin, to “do something” but Muhyiddin replied, “If you are innocent, then bring it to open court and let the court decide lah. You’ll have nothing to worry if you’re innocent.” That pissed Zahid off immensely. The man some of you call Backdoor PM lah, corrupted lah, crooked lah, macam macam lah was the very same principled man who refused to entertain Zahid’s pleas to “do something” simply because Muhyiddin knew this was a GMJ case. Muhyiddin did not and still does not want to thwart the course of justice nor oppose the Rule of Law. You have got to give this to Muhyiddin.

So what other option has Zahid got? Enter your Saint Anwar ‘The Clean’ Ibrahim. Anwar cut a deal with Zahid: ”Bring me enough UMNO MPs to form the Government and I’ll “do something” for you. You make me PM and I’ll pull you out of the hot soup.”

So, dear Reader, the only reason Zahid is trying to topple the PN Government is to help his ‘cikgu’ Anwar Ibrahim become Prime Minister so that Anwar can ”do something”: either delay these charges or drop them altogether. Yes, your Saint Anwar Ibrahim. The same fella who cried wolf in the Istana and declares REFORMASI to those poor fools who will still listen to his drivel. The same Anwar whom many of you tout as the saviour of the country who will bring reform and clean up the system because he is so clean. My ass is cleaner! Thwart the course of justice? Oppose Rule of Law? Sure, janji saya jadi PM.

So, who is more principled and cleaner, dear Reader? Muhyiddin the so-called Backdoor PM who refused to cave into Zahid’s demands or Anwar ‘The Clean’ Ibrahim who gladly embraced Zahid? The clearer things get, the more Anwar is exposed for the slimy creature he is. And Zahid is hopelessly grasping at all straws now before the 5th of August arrives.

Don’t hold your breath, dear Reader. The UMNO fellas know what’s going on and they’re old hands at this game. Muhyiddin, other than Tun Mahathir, is arguably the longest serving of them all and he co-wrote the book with Tun on UMNO’s Game of Thrones. Remember that you have the Court Cluster UMNO and the H2O UMNO, so UMNO really isn’t just one solid UMNO. What is certain is that the UMNO grassroots, and the Malays, are getting sick and tired with Zahid’s machinations and the undercurrent and rumblings are getting audibly louder.

The ordinary Malay on the street does not want instability now. He or she just wants to get through this pandemic in one piece. Muhyiddin knows this. Zahid probably does but doesn’t care one bit. It’s all about him and saving his ass now. Who do you think will win this Game of Thrones? The old hand or the bumbling idiot with his ass a-roasting?

I’ll sit back and enjoy my latte while watching ass roast and then boil for good measure come the 5th of August.

Dave Letterman
Coffee connoisseur, retired loyar burok and unaccredited political analyst