Dear Reader,

So, most of you stayed up till the wee hours this morning waiting with bated breath for the much anticipated announcement by Zahid, right? I had two cups of Arabica Mild Roast and almost finished my pack of Dunhill Menthol Lights.

Then the LIVE pressy went on air. I listened….and thought I was watching the wrong pressy!

But it WAS Zahid. The date behind him WAS correct too. And his lips synched with the words he was saying. So this wasn’t a pre-recorded bad joke made by some smart alec techie in his basement somewhere to pull a fast one over us. Except that the words Zahid was saying were meandering, meaningless and a whole dumpster of verbiage garbage.

Until he finally arrived at the point. Three points actually.

1. UMNO will stop supporting the PN government.
2. Muhyiddin must resign and a temporary Prime Minister will take over.
3. UMNO will not support Anwar as PM nor any Government that is DAP-PH led.

Point No. 3 must really have pissed off his ‘Cikgu’ Anwar. Unless it’s part of his ‘Cikgu’s’ game. Which is not much of a game because one does not shoot oneself in the foot and then un-shoot it later. Oh well. That’s one for the ‘Cikgu’ to sort out because I do not really care.

Now let me give you three takeaways from what Zahid said. The legal and constitutional implications of Zahid’s announcement amount to….NOTHING.

1. The PN government will not fall so long as the 35 UMNO MPs continue to support Muhyiddin as PM. The Constitution says the PM must enjoy the support of MPs, not political parties. And the 35 UMNO MPs had pledged their support for Muhyiddin and PN. Read:

2. The 35 MPs had demanded an UMNO Deputy Prime Minister in return for their support. Not only did Muhyiddin give them an UMNO DPM, he also elevated Hishammuddin to a Senior Minister. What a royal checkmate move! So gempak and licik!

3. Now that the non-MPs in the UMNO Supreme Council have decided to withdraw support from PN, then it goes without saying too that they will also have to resign their posts in GLCs and from other political appointments. Talk about shooting yourself in both feet!

Zahid the bumbling idiot is making blunder after blunder! So malufying lah. Doesn’t say much about his ‘Cikgu’ either if the student keeps screwing things up, from bad to worse. Actually, that teacher isn’t that smart either, otherwise he would have been Prime Minister by now.

So, what we saw last night was a very bad drama that really made matters worse for the main lead actor himself. As Shakespeare would have said and did say…”Much ado about nothing.” And so, the Supreme Council has, in not so many words, sounded the death knell and now…brace for it…UMNO is ready for total and absolute annihilation.

Zahid may be left with one last card to play, though – sack the 35 ‘recalcitrant’ MPs. But…but…this is as good as destroying UMNO. Which insane party President would do an unforgivable thing like that?

Ah, of course. The PKR President Anwar Ibrahim did just that. Like ‘Cikgu’, like student. Well done Zahid and Anwar! You both have just fucked each other up royally! Imagine if these two were leading the country…we would be royally fucked up too.

Dave Letterman
Coffee connoisseur, retired loyar burok and unaccredited political analyst