The Witch of Anw-dor?


Alexander vs Porus, King of India

There have been headlines that the Indians are once(?) again the king-makers in Malaysian politics, much to the joy of Uthayakumar, his HRP, even MIC, PPP, MUIP, and wakakaka, KIMMA as well as various kutu BN component parties and organizations that claim to represent Indian Malaysians.

Indeed, and so are we joyous as well … especially kaytee as I had penned the following posts eons before the cries of marginalisation of Indians rang out:

(1) The Toddy Syndrome

(2) Malaysia’s Economic Pariahs?

(3) Hated by Indra


… but hold on a ding dong minute, the king-making claim seems to be not what we had visualize and want. It’s not about Indian voters tipping the balance of outcomes in the coming general election, and while this may yet be realized, the king-makers we are discussing in this post are the new G-Ds of “truth” and a King Saul like bloke who could call up or upon Malaysian Witches of Endor or more correctly, Witches of Anw-dor wakakaka.

On one side we have, as mentioned, B-D, the new G-D of ‘Truth’ especially the D of the Divine Duality, who in esoteric exotic erotic Taoism-like exercise, is making many PKR supporters go into wild orgasms at the “truth” spewed out like deep fried Manapparai murukku (chap rose hitam – haram certified, wakakaka), very non-halal (non-kosher) thus spicy and enticing but yawnnnnnnnn, something we non-PKR people are already familiar with …

…. while (what G-D gives with one hand, G-D takes away with the other) RPK informs us in The ‘third party’ whom Rafizi Ramli spoke about of one Datuk Ravi who marvellously has a panel of bomohs on his payroll and is reputed to be the alleged Mursyidul Am sub rosā* to PKR, in fact one personally advising the party’s de facto head, Anwar Ibrahim.

* sub rosā literally means ‘under the rose’, from the ancient use of the rose at meetings as a symbol of the sworn confidence of the participants or secret. You have to decide whether it is a black rose.

Wow, a double Makkal Sakti!

… and eat your roast lamb’s heart out, Datuk TRJR*.

[* = Datuk Tiga Ratus Juta Ringgit, wakakaka]

Since ’tis the season of faith and we have been talking about matters relating to Judeo-Christianity, etc, it may be said that in Judeo-Christianity, the first official bomoh was Aaron, brother of Moses. He was the High Priest of the Hebrews, and only his direct descendants from the Tribe of Levi, referred to at times as Aaronites, could be priests.

But since the good book says he was a prophet, perhaps we need to leave him and other Aaronites (Hebrew priests) out of this discussion on witch doctors (or shamans or bomoh) …

… which then makes the Witch of Endor as the most famous bomoh in the bible, wakakaka.

Witch of Endor, King Saul & ghost of Samuel

This is just a wee digression, a t’ng k’ooi (chong hei) meandering before I come back to the Indian king-maker and his panel of bomohs.

According to the Old Testament, King Saul (Israel’s first king) was an unmitigated schizophrenic who was further depressed by leng chai David becoming the people’s choice for kingship – so the Bible tells us but there’s more to it than what the Bible hopes we would believe.

There was a battle looming and Saul wanted to consult God about his chances but alas God didn’t answer him which doesn’t surprised me in the least because God’s usual mouthpiece Samuel coincidentally wasn’t around, wakakaka.

Unfortunately for Saul (in more than one way), the treacherous Samuel, his priest-advisor, who seditiously abetted leng chai David in a failed coup d’etat, was dead. So Saul decided to ask the Witch of Endor to raise the ghost of Samuel for pre-battle consultations.

But I have my doubts about this.

You see, Samuel hated Saul’s guts because prior to Saul becoming Israel’s first king on the people’s demand, Samuel as a Judge-Priest was running the country. He appointed his two sons as his successors, and I am sure you have heard of such legacies (in  North Korea, I mean wakakaka), but the Israelites told them (Samuel’s sons) to f-o, wakakaka, and demanded Saul be appointed King instead.

Saul made 1st King of Israel by Israelites

Obviously insofar as Samuel was concerned, there was nothing that Saul ever did right – for example, there was a pending battle with the Amalekites. Samuel told Saul to wait for seven days after which they would meet and Samuel would then give further instructions on sacrifices to god prior to battle. But as would have it, Samuel did not arrive even after 7 days; Saul’s army was fidgeting so Saul started preparing for battle by conducting the standard offer of sacrifices.

Aha! Just as Saul finished doing that, guess who popped out from behind the bush? Caught you! Yes, Samuel arrived and railed against Saul for not waiting for him as he was the priest and the only who could offer sacrifices to god (so said he), of course conveniently acting dunno that he did not arrive even after the promised seven days.

Naturally the bomoh, ooops I mean, priest told Saul that god’s not happy with him and would take away his kingship.

Then bloke told Saul the latter had again fallen out of God’s favour because he (Saul) was too soft hearted and didn’t slaughter all the Amalekites in a genocide instructed by Samuel.

Samuel’s continuous fault finding with Saul, using god’s name, remind me of a judge who once upon a time, long long ago, wakakaka, became the Lord President after he found his boss, then the incumbent Lord President, guilty of some alleged wrong, following which the Lord President was sacked and his prosecutor-judge-successor was promoted to become Lord President, wakakaka.

Obviously the biblical Judge-Priest (ruler before King Saul) wanted to achieve the same thing, wakakaka.

But realizing Saul had the people’s support, he decided to become king-maker and promoted David as a worthy successor, claiming of course the murderous adulterous treacherous David was god’s chosen … thus wrote the Davidic supporters in the Bible, wakakaka.

Hebrew Bible

Maybe Samuel had hope to control David but he died at the age of 53 – just as well for him because there was no one in biblical history more devious, treacherous and evil than David, whose symbol today is on the flag of Israel.

Eventually David murdered Saul and his family (sons and daughter, his own wife) and seduced Saul’s wife and a few other men’s wives to get Saul’s throne, so a wee BTN-style creative redaction of the Judaic records were done during the Judeans’ captivity in Babylon to whitewash David’s crimes.

So the story of Saul calling the Witch of Endor to raise Samuel from the dead for pre battle consultations was a further demon-ization (excuse the unintended pun) of King Saul by Davidic supporters, apart from the gross implausible geographical details related to the sequence of events, indicating they were fabricated.

But consulting bomoh has been an intrinsic part of Malay culture, which I dare say, due to the muhibbah-ness of our society, some Chinese and Indians and a few Eurasians have participated too, wakakaka.

Yes, there are 3 activities that bind us closely like bro’s and sis’ – namely, sports (especially the faves of gamblers, wakakaka), 4-Ekor (see multiracial crowd at 4-Ekor shop wakakaka and the magnanimous policemen who would be so tolerant of double and even triple parking outside an 4-ekor shop, wakakaka), and consulting the bomoh (to dapat 4-Ekor lah, wakakaka).

4-D shop, wakakaka

My uncle told me that during the days of Tunku (or was it Tun Razak) PM-ship, the Vice Chancellor of our only university was, I believe, Prof Ungku Aziz who did the unusual. He engaged a bomoh to consecrate a hall in UM, and he did in an open ceremony where there were a number of invited guests including VIPs, wakakaka.

Ungku Aziz was big on Malay culture and he reckoned a bomoh consecrating the hall would be a nice touch, wakakaka. A few Malays grumbled but most smiled at his Malay-ness or eccentricity. The unique occasion was reported in most of the newspapers, ad that’s how my Unc came to know about it. Today I wonder which Malaysian university VC dares do such a thing, wakakaka.

Another uncle story – Recalling my uncles were in the Armed Forces, they heard this one about a certain Malay Regiment Battalion commanding officer (CO) during the Emergency. Bloke was a bit of a sexual perv, but let’s keep clear of that as we want to discuss the bomoh in the story. 

Apparently, as the story went, bloke wanted to ambush a known CT group in his area of operations  As he lacked intelligence (the military kind, wakakaka) he consulted a bomoh in a hope to get a head start on other battalion commanders. The bomoh assured him that if he laid an ambush at location X, he would get those CTs. Of course the ambush was in vain, or we would have ended the Emergency a lot earlier, wakakaka. But something happened – he whacked the bomoh kau kau, wakakaka.