KD Transformer 1Malaysia
These US-made Hamilton-class cutters that the Royal Malaysian Navy intends to purchase are either equipped with state-of-the-art ion cannons or other energy particle weapons on board. It is either that or the OPVs are stealth-capable and totally undetectable on any radars. Hell, it could even be invisible to the eye!
By Hakim Joe
RM6,000,000,000 for six offshore patrol vessels (OPV) meant for dealing with piracy, smugglers and illegal fishing.
These US-made Hamilton-class cutters that the Royal Malaysian Navy intends to purchase are either equipped with state-of-the-art ion cannons or other energy particle weapons on board. It is either that or the OPVs are stealth-capable and totally undetectable on any
radars. Hell, it could even be invisible to the eye! As with our Malaysian submarines that cannot dive underwater, no information was ever revealed whether these OPVs are capable of ever floating on the water.
It is well known on the maritime scene that any vessels traversing the Straits of Malacca runs a high risk of being hijacked and henceforth the urgent need of such vessels to effectively deal with this sea borne threat. With its array of ion cannons and stealth
capability, the RMN should find no trouble discouraging any would be pirates from ever operating anywhere near Malaysian territorial waters (Singapore is okay). Any fast crafts even with four 250hp outboard motors will be instantly pulverized to smithereens even before one could finish saying the word “Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis”.
The purchase of the OPVs also facilitates the RMN to send over twelve Malaysian sailors for training free of charge. These sailors shall be enrolled with the US Navy Language School so that their proficiency in the English language will be enhanced for them to be able to read the operating and maintenance manuals without help of a dictionary. Alternately the USN has also offered to translate these manuals into Bahasa Malaysia at USD100,000 per page.
For any detractors questioning the existence of such firepower please be advised that nobody has ever seen Osama’s body. This is because SEAL Team 6 possesses laser energy rifles that effectively disintegrated Osama’s body into atom-sized particles after he was
shot. Still an unbeliever? Please ask Princess Leia about her home planet that was vaporized after being blasted by an ion cannon from the Death Star or Kane from the Command and Conqueror Series.
The USN has also indicated that these new Hamilton class vessels will be renamed as the Transformer class to befit its billion Ringgit price tag and quite a few top RMN echelon are secretly hoping to name the first of these vessels Optimus Prime. Secret reports leaked from the Ministry of Defense however indicates that the first of these vessels be named KD Transformer 1Malaysia and to be painted bright fluorescent pink to enable instant visibility by any would-be transgressors in order to deter them from any illegal actions within the
Malaysian territorial waters (Singapore is still okay).
Avondale Shipyard which builds these vessels are planning to construct 12 of such cutters of which the remaining six will be sold off to the Philippines Navy at USD10 million a piece. These will be the plain-Jane Hamilton class boats as compared to the Transformer class
boats sold to the RMN.
