Young disillusioned Malaysian
Sadly, it was only two years, and I might have changed my mind already. I am seriously in doubt now whether I should go back and serve in Malaysia, or stay here. Just the thought of staying here make me cringes; it is a very selfish decision. But I am giving up on Malaysia and its people.
Zain Abdullah, The Malaysian Insider
I am going to tell you a story. A story about me, myself and my government.
As typically with me, the story starts with an idealistic 20-something young adult who just started his first year of university.
I remember the first time I arrived in the United Kingdom. I firmly believed that I should come here, get my qualifications and return to Malaysia to serve the people.
My main intention in doing medicine is because I believe it is the best way I can directly work with and serve the people.
At that time, I did not particularly like medicine. I’d rather be a zoologist and work with the WWF. However, since the intention to serve and work with the deprived communities in Malaysia has been a part of me since I was 11, I persevered and took medicine instead.
The common issue that crops up time and again as a Malaysian student overseas is whether to go back and work in Malaysia. And in my first year, I was the biggest proponent of “balik Malaysia kerja”.
Whenever anybody said that Malaysia is bad and they do not want to go back to Malaysia, I would not hesitate to give them a piece of my mind. A few times I got into heated exchanges with my colleagues and seniors just because they stuck to their decision not to go back and serve the people.
Sensing my innocent yet idealistic views on the issue, my wise senior at that time took me aside one day. With his kind words of advice he told me: “Do not be overconfident; after five years you change your mind, even you do not want to go back.”
I jokingly laughed at him, still confident that I would not change even after five years in the UK.
Sadly, it was only two years, and I might have changed my mind already. I am seriously in doubt now whether I should go back and serve in Malaysia, or stay here. Just the thought of staying here make me cringes; it is a very selfish decision. But I am giving up on Malaysia and its people.
Why am I giving up, you might ask. Before I answer that particular question, answer my question first. Why not?
Everyday, when I open the news portals there will be at least several news items that show “oh-not-so-intelligent” actions and decisions of the government, its ministers and their agencies.
These include the mismanagement of the country’s Treasury, the biased judicial system, the mainstream media that censors anything unfavourable to the government, the misbehaviour of the police force and the MACC, the ambiguous accumulation of wealth by the governing elites while the commoners are faced with increasing hardships in life.
1. The V.K. Lingam judge brokering case
2. Port Klang Free Zone mismanagement
3. Deaths of Teoh Beng Hock and Ahmad Sarbaini after MACC investigation
4. Death of Aminulrasyid, Kugan Anathan and several others at the hands of the police
5. The commission scandals for the French submarines
The list could go on and on.
When I first arrived in the UK, I sincerely believed I could return and bring reforms and improvements to Malaysia. However, each news item killed my hopes little by little. And after two years, the accumulative effect has caused me to almost give up on Malaysia and Malaysians.
The little devil besides me kept hissing: “Why would you care about the Malaysian people and Malaysia, they are not saveable. After all, were it not because of their votes for the same incompetent leaders (this applies to both the ruling and opposition parties) that we will not have this conundrum.”
I might just be tempted.
