Hang Jebat was a Buddhist

By John Doe
Sometimes, pictures speak a thousand words. Let us look Hang Jebat’s Grave:

There is no such architecture in Malaysia. Since UMNO decided to add the Jawi words on top of the architecture, let us assume that they are indeed endorsing this as THE authentic graves of the Hang Brothers.
Let us also take a look at Hang Tuah’s (fake grave) located in Kampong Keling.
Why I said “fake grave”, is because of the inscription by Tourism Malaysia, on the panels which you can clearly see at the back. 
This was a large grave, therefore, it must have been of an important person, therefore, it is Hang Tuah’s“. That is fantastic logic. They could have at least said that it was a Sultan’s Grave or something, and we would have had much less to gripe about. But why did they not say so? Why is there not a single grave of any Malaccan Sultan?
While you are pondering, let me take you to Thailand. To a place called Lopburi. And take a look at King Narai’s Palace:
Unlike Malacca, Lopburi has many many many buildings and artefacts to look at. The below is but one of several hundred in the vicinity.
All the red dots (on the left) show temples like the one above:
So, where, oh, where, is the evidence for the Malaccan Sultanate?
Yes, one Chinese Collar, and an Indian knife, and some loose change?
Come on!! You have to do better than that!!
And while you are, let me pose you another question. Was Hang Jebat a Thai from Lopburi, or was he from Sri Lanka?
While you ponder on that, let me bring you to Sri Dalada Maligawa.
This is where they kept Buddha’s Tooth. Their official website is found here: http://daladamaligawa.org/
So, have you decided if Hang Jebat was a Thai, or a Sri Lankan? This puts a very interesting twist to the entire History of Malacca. Important to note, that while there is plenty of evidence of foreign occupation, there is none on the actual Sultanate itself. Sejarah Melayu (download from HERE)
(Dear Saiful, it is pronounced ANNAL, and NOT Anal.)
For those who insist that Muslims can be buried in such a grave, I contest Fat Lady of Putrajaya (FLOP) to put herself in a grave much like any of the Hangs’. Heck, I’d even be glad to pay for it, and bring in the experts from both Sri Lanka and Lopburi to build it for you.
So, the Hangs were Buddhists? And they were from where again? Lopburi? Sri Lanka? Or are these actually the graves of the Hang Brothers at all? Maybe the graves belong to the Sultans? Maybe the graves belong to some rich Sri Lankan who lived in Malacca and had posthumously converted to Islam, as according to JAIS, and JAKIM? Oh, didn’t you know? Non-Muslims are allowed to convert to Islam AFTER they die!! That saves you a lot of hassle of having to snip your dick, pay Zakat or pray 5 times a day. Just convert to Islam AFTER you die. And, the bonus is, after you die, you can never convert out of Islam, so Apostacy is completely out of the question for you. But make sure that you have divided all your property before you die, because it might completely belong to JAIS, despite what your will reads.
I have a truly honest question:
“Why was Prophet Muhammad never circumcised?”
Btw, there’s a new story floating around that Hang Tuah was captured by Zheng He, and taken back to China to be beheaded by the Ming Emperor, but I have yet to see any solid evidence for that yet.