The Petronas poltergeist (UPDATED with Chinese Translation)

This never happened. TSHM is a man of dignity. Four months later he was happily working in Singapore and the Singapore fellas were laughing at their Malaysian brothers and how stupid they had become in such a short space of time.


Deep Throat Bukit Aman

Tan Sri Mohd Hassan Marican joined Petronas on the 2nd February 1989 as the Senior Vice President of Finance. He left Petronas on the 10th February 2010 as President and CEO — almost 21 years to the day of dedicated service to the country.

Tan Sri Hassan Marican now works for the Singapore Government — SembCorp to be precise, as Non-Executive Director. This company is controlled by the Singapore Government’s investment arm, Temasek Holdings.

By the way, the Chairman of Temasek Holdings is a gentleman by the name of Mr. S. Dhanabalan. Not only is he just a low life ‘Mister’ but an Indian fella as well. Unheard of in our neck of the woods. Hindraf should go down to Singapore and take some notes.

So we lost TSHM to the Singaporeans. This is another typical example of the massive brain drain going on. Only this time they really caught a big fish. Probably the biggest catch in a very long time.


Why was it necessary for TSHM to resign (or forced to resign or sacked or fired or whatever)?

It is obvious he can still work. It is obvious his grey matter is still functioning properly otherwise there would be no way Singapore would employ him.

He ran a well respected international oil company and ran it well. That is why TSHM is well respected the world over. Why would we want to lose one of our best known jewels, especially to Singapore?

What happened?

Let me tell you.

You see, there is this woman whose initials are RM. No, I do not mean Ringgit Malaysia, but same thing. You know who I am talking about.

Once RM became the First Lady she climbed into the cookie jar. Before that she was only allowed one hand inside. Now that her husband is PM things became much easier. Bermacam macam kontrak semua bolih dapat. Sebut nama suami saja, hey bingo!

So RM sent PM off to see TSHM. PM asked TSHM to stop investing Petronas’ money overseas and start investing all those billions in Malaysia instead.

TSHM bukan orang bodoh. He knew better than to let go billions of ringgit straight into the hands of these UMNO fellas and their cronies. He would rather this money be invested properly, out of reach of their grubby paws, so that at least our future generations would have a few crumbs to pick at once all the raping and pillaging of the country’s wealth was completed by these gangsters.

So TSHM told PM to piss off in no uncertain words.

PM told RM that TSHM told him to piss off so RM got pissed off with TSHM and told PM to step aside and she would handle it her way.

So RM, as usual, started setting up new companies with her henchmen out front and her in the background, but this time the specialisation was the oil & gas industry. Apa macam kontrak bolih bikin. Bagi lah kita. Anyhow husband saya PM so you kena bagi whether you like it or not.

But RM underestimated the principles that TSHM held dear to his heart.

No company could get anywhere near Petronas unless it met the strict criteria it set down regarding the contracts it dished out. Not only did you have to be good to get a Petronas contract, you had to be very, very good.

RM’s companies did not come close. They were generally only good for making camouflage outfits for teenagers going to some camps for government national service (RM’s idea too) or laying carpets in newly renovated PM’s residence.

RM told TSHM not to worry. Just award the contracts first and then we sort out these minor criteria issues later. Carpets, oil & gas…same thing.

TSHM said ‘no way…piss off’.

That pissed off RM even more. You don’t mess with the First Lady like that. PM got an ear full when he got home from work that day. RM wanted TSHM out and the rest is history.

But PM did say to TSHM….”Sorry brudder apa bolih buat? Wife I terror lah. But never mind, I will make you a ‘Special Advisor to me on Gas and Energy Issues’.

This never happened. TSHM is a man of dignity. Four months later he was happily working in Singapore and the Singapore fellas were laughing at their Malaysian brothers and how stupid they had become in such a short space of time.

Now watch this space. Dato Shamsul Azhar Abbas is now President and CEO of Petronas. Let us see if Petronas invests more in Malaysia from now on and let us see whether Petronas alters its strict criteria for companies dealing with it so as to accommodate carpet makers or tailors. Let us hope this man adheres to the same principles as TSHM. We will know soon if he is of the same calibre.

If he ends up in Singapore then you know he is kosher.


Translated into Chinese at: