Letter to a Failing Nation

By John Doe 

Reading today’s news is upsetting, to say the least. It’s alright to be a Malay first? That racist statement is so painful to the ears. Which country leader makes that kind of a statement? The only one we know of, is Adolf Hitler, who used it as his EXACT Mantra to “erradicate the Jews” during the Holocaust. Is Malaysia about to face the same fate? ALL Malaysians, be they Malay, Indians, Chinese, or the “dan lain-lains” need to be on their guard then. 

Maybe the bombing of churches, and flying pig-heads was just a “warning-shot”. Bogus Sodomy Trials, ISA, or even  C4 may be next. Who knows? What kind of leaders in the 21st century still vomit this type of propoganda? Have they no shame? Is it a surprise then, that pretty much every single “Review of Malaysia” shows it to be consistently on par only with “Advanced” Countries like Zimbabwe, Congo, Burma, and the like? Even Vietnam superceeds Malaysia today. 

Is power so lucrative that one is willing to risk everything for it? Here’s a hypothesis. UMNO people pray to some God other than Allah. Maybe they worship the Money God, maybe they don’t even have a God. Who knows? Their brand of Islam is certainly shocking!! Maybe they even claim themselves to be “New Prophets”!! After all, even “The Jedi Order Religion” is recognised in Britain and New Zealand already. UMNO certainly have some idiots worshipping them. Red carpets, caviar, and the works. All they seem to need to do is to throw a few ringgit here and there for the peasants and UMNO will have their feet kissed; and their Ketuanan Masturbated.

They scream and shout “Hak Hak Hak Hak Hak Hak …” and yet do not even want to try to work for it. Offering a “Bogeyman Enemy” instead. How pathetic. I once heard a funny phrase from a Chinese friend of mine. “If one can’t shit, then we must blame that the floor is hard ….” The English equivalent would be “A poor workman blames his tools”. If UMNO wants 67%, then work 67%. If you work only 1% and demand 67%, then you’re totally out of touch with reality. The world does not work that way. And if you don’t like the way this world works, then stop working completely, starve yourself to death, and proceed to Heaven, where everything is Kosher. So promised the “Holy Books”. Have you read it? Really? Have you read it in a language which you understand? What happened to “By the sweat of your brow ….”? 

So what is it that these people keep harping about being a “malay”? What is all this “malay” nonsense? Who is a “malay”? As we all know it, a Portuguese can be a “malay”, a half Pakistani-Hainanese can be a “malay”, and I refer to the Sleepy ex-PM, and his wife. On the same note, Lina Joy can be an “un-malay”, and so on. UMNO has cheapened the term “malay” to the point that it seems more like a “children’s club-membership” of sorts; loosely based on waving a religion and a crooked knife around. Even Porn Actors can become Presidents!! REALLY! 

I also find it absurd that while one Minister screams that “Those who are not happy, should leave the country ….” while another screams that “HELP!!! ALL the good, talented and skilled workers are leaving, or have left in droves …”. As I know it 200,000 skilled Graduates have migrated to Singapore last year alone. The rest of the 200,000 are pretty equally distributed all over the world. How many millions have left over the years? What race they are is irrelevant. 

Why have they left? Simple. They are paid “Dollar for Dollar” whever they go, and they have real skills. They speak decent English, and with the weak Ringgit, they have immediately gained 6.8x the same Salary as compared to if they worked in Malaysia. Who wouldn’t move? Even the lowest denominator of the 2.3x of Singapore is enough for one to pack up and leave. Is that all? Not really. Bombing churches, flying pig-heads, exploding Mongolians, race-changing prohibitions, theft of Cadavers, Post-humous conversions, flying corpses from the 14th floor, and many more anomalies enough to fill an entire “Ripley’s Believe it or Not” encyclopedia, is more than enough reason for the “Pendatang” to be a “Pe-pergi”. 

UMNO, are you happy now? You’ve asked them to leave, and they have. In fact, many, many, many intellectuals have left. The more intellectuals leave, the more the dumb appear to be smarter, right? Nice. Now who’s going to be left to build and advance the Nation? You? You only have a half-baked-diploma! What are you babbling about?  National University of Singapore is ranked 16th in the world, the last time I checked. Malaysia did not even make it into the top 1,000 University list. Where is your Ketuanan now? What is your excuse? Education is a concoction of the Evil West? Education should thus be avoided? 

Your dull-lackluster-statements and thinking have made Malaysia a Retro-Progressive country. What a joke. The Ringgit and the Singapore Dollar started out on Par. Today, you are 2.3 times less than them. I can go on and on with many other comparatives. None are flattering. You beg foreigners to come invest. Here’s what foreigners know – “Malaysia is less Exotic than Thailand, More Expensive than Indonesia, and Less Advanced than Singapore.” Where does that leave Malaysia? Go figure. And keep your 1Backward-Malaysia to yourself. The world spins without you.

The world is moving at exponential speeds today, furthering technology at a blinding pace, while UMNO is still trying to decipher their wooden ABC Building Blocks. Worse, they remove a few alphabet blocks and announce that the entire alphabet only consists of 20 letters, to make them appear “smarter”. “This is the Malaysian Way” they blatantly announce. And if this still is too hard, the blocks are reduced till about 2 alphabet blocks. Then, they shout “Ketuanan this and that”, and demand 67% for figuring out the 2 alphabet blocks. What happened to the other 24 blocks? “Oh, they are the creation of the Evil West. You do not need them.” Just play with your 2 blocks. Here, we’ll give you some “Ketuanan Money”, and a Datukship. 

UMNO, you can keep on masturbating your Ketuanan till you bleed; someday you may cum (to your senses). And those who are not happy, can Vote UMNO out forever the next Elections [not erections? – mtadmin].