Lemme tell ya what’s gonna happen…

Oh boy oh boy oh boy. Another by-election (that’s by-erection for some people I read about, LOL!!).

By Art Harun

Hulu Selangor. Frankly I don’t even know where it is. And I am sure many people, like me, do not know where it is.

But soon, Hulu Selangor will be famous. The place will be featured every day and night on TV3 news, RTM 1 and 2 news, Bernama TV news, NST, Berita Harian, Utusan Malaysia, the Star and whatever mass media there are in this country.

And there will be loads and loads of people who will be going there. I mean not ordinary people like you and me. Big people. Like tawdally beeeg people, man. IPs. VIPs. VVIPs. VVVIPs. And their wife too. Or wives, as the case may be.

The people of Hulu Selangor are one lucky bunch I say. Why not? Christmas, to them, comes early this year. I am not saying that the people of Hulu Selangor are Christians la. Or that they are Muslims who celebrate Christmas. After all this is in Selangor. The place where Muslims are easily confused, according to some Ministers.

No. I am not saying that. It was just a manner of speaking. What I mean is they will get a lot of gifts soon. Yeeay! Horray.

I think soon, all the roads in and to Hulu Selangor will be re-paved. Redone. All the pot holes will suddenly disappear. Out of a sudden, lorries carrying black tar and the tar laying machines would appear. People will come out of them lorries and do up those roads. Where there was no budget for doing so for the past 33 years, suddenly the budget will appear. Yahooooo.

Then billboards will spring up. Satu lagi projek kerajaan BN untuk anda. Hell yeah.

Oh. Bridges. How can we forget bridges. There will be new bridges built. Even at places where there will be nobody crossing the river.

The abandoned school project somewhere in the corner of the kampung will suddenly revive. I do not know for a fact that there is an abandoned school project there, okay. But in each district in this country there will surely be one anyway. And so I am just presuming lah. Yes, suddenly the school project, which has been abandoned for the past 27 years will be revived.

Not only that. Every student in Hulu Langat, tidak kira bangsa, will be given a laptop each. Yes. A finkin new laptop each mind you. Just like in Kuala Terengganu, remember? (I wonder what has happened to the promise to give a computer to each student in Kuala Terengganu now that the BN lost that election).

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