For sale!
I have to make sure you get things right. This owner is no Zakariah. Please don't put the two chaps together. Who the hell is Zakariah? A dead assemblyman! But the owner of this mansion used to be his boss, and for once the head of our state!
By LIM MUN FAH/Translated by DOMINIC LOH/Sin Chew Daily
Big mansion for sale by auction. Starting price: RM4 million!
Plot size: 52,221 square feet (people like you with only SPM qualifications and shallow arithmetical base can never imagine how big that is! Well, let me give you some idea: it is as big as a football field, or 11 basketball courts, or 32 badminton courts. Get it now?)
Location: Seksyen 7 Shah Alam (people like you with only SPM qualifications and poor geographical concept have no idea where on earth this place is! Let me give you a better picture: Nestled at the foot of a hillslope with breathtaking scenery and thick foliage. How? Exclusive enough?)
Architectural style: Unmistakably Balinese (people like you with only SPM qualifications and no fundamental taste for aesthetics will never appreciate its wondrous beauty. Show you a most romantic perspective: Garden-style building cluster, sloping roofs, pastel colour roof tiles, stone carvings from Java, Balinese doorway, rustic beauty everywhere, totally picturesque. How? Stylish enough?)
Amenities: Palatial construction (people like you with only SPM qualifications and limited financial management know-how are in no way able to estimate its worth. I'm giving you the most straightforward illustration: swimming pool, prayer room, entertainment centre, RM290k Balinese gate and everything else imaginable. Easily overshadowing Zakariah's RM5 million palace, huh?)
Actual price: Depending on whom you trust (for people like you with only SPM qualifications, I'd better get things straight to the point. Price? That will depend on whom you choose to believe. If the owner, it is worth RM4 million only if we add that RM500k renovation cost. But if you choose to believe in the RM28 million tag claimed by some guy with only Form 6 education plus "some untold agendas," I have nothing more to say.)
But, pardon me for being too candid. People like you with only SPM qualifications had better pretend to know nothing and abstain from spreading rumours, or the house owner will send you to court!
I have to make sure you get things right. This owner is no Zakariah. Please don't put the two chaps together. Who the hell is Zakariah? A dead assemblyman! But the owner of this mansion used to be his boss, and for once the head of our state!
Finally, let me advise you all: for heaven sake please don't pass down any judgement before a trial is held. Go and read up the regulations on bank loans.
Another thing, if your Bahasa is not good, go and get some tuition. Don't pretend to know everything and misguide the public. Dosa!
