Who’s afraid of Mahasneer?

The Chronicles of Oilwell continue…

Written by Helen Ang, CPI

Oilwell is a petroleum-exporting, egg-sucking planet ruled by Big Enders – folks who crack their eggs at the big end. Opposition Little Enders knock their eggs on the small end while Middlers break an eggshell in half. 

Egg defines an Oilwellian’s life and whenever he fills an official document, he has to tick the affiliation box whether BN, LN, Md or dhal (vegetarian non-egg eaters).

Our story picks up again in 209 AD and contrary to popular misconception, AD stands for ‘Ada Duit’ and not anno domini. In April that year, Rose-majeeb created Orwellian history as the first androgene (born Rose, she had a gender re-assignation in mid-life to become a man – Majeeb) attaining Oilwell’s highest office.

Rose-majeeb replaced Able-Doolah as Adder after great eggspectations of Anoo-war in the previous year’s September Struggle failed to materialise.

Able-Doolah turned out not ‘able’, nor an Adder to ‘do’ much lah. One would cut him some slack though as undoubtedly his predecessor Mahasneer had handed him the ill-fated addership littered with booby traps aplenty. Not to mention how Mahasneer couldn’t desist from throwing political grenades at Doolah at every opportune turn. Doolah would do better to have been very afraid of Mahasneer.

With the old tyrant’s protégé Rose-majeeb now safely installed, Mahasneerism indeed made a triumphal comeback. One of Rose-majeeb’s first acts as Adder was to appoint Mahasneer’s son Murky-biz to the Poly-burrito, or council of leaders.

Rose-majeeb also snubbed Able-Doolah by sidelining Doolah’s son-in-law Khyi-ree. It’s worth mentioning however that Murky’s smooth and shiny pate won him favour with fashionable Oilwellian women who loved anything remotely eggy.

Although Murky’s egg-like dome was striking, he was otherwise nondescript in other respects. Oilwellians came to the conclusion that Rose-majeeb picked Murky because he was afraid of Mahasneer, and rightly so.