The truth about Saiful’s truthfulness that is too strange to be believed

Forget all that you have read in the other blogs for here’s the absolute truth – Saiful is telling the truth. His only problem is that the truth is too bizarre to be believed.


Flashback to the month of June, 2008. What was the most significant incident in the Malaysian political scene? Yes, it was the revelation by one Saiful Bukhari Azlan that former DPM Datuk Seri Anwar Ibrahim had sodomized him.

What, the same bullshit, again????

Needless to say, most people did not believe this story. Most blogs registered extremely negative views from the general public, with a majority of people believing that this claim is false and politically motivated, driven by the upper echelons of the Federal Government to dispose off their greatest political threat of this time – Anwar Ibrahim.

In August 2008, Saiful went to the National Mosque to swear on the Quran that he had been sodomized. His words were met with more scorn and ridicule.

Forget all that you have read in the other blogs for here’s the absolute truth – Saiful is telling the truth.

His only problem is that the truth is too bizarre to be believed.

Keep an open mind, for what is about to be revealed is too mind-blowing to be comprehensible by the average man-on-the-street. It defies common sense not because it defies logic, but only because it far surpasses the finitude of our tiny feeble minds.

Let’s keep it as simple as possible, I’ll lay it out in a linear format but it gets disjointed in between due to the actual non-linear sequence of events in reality.

June 26th, 2008. Saiful was with Anwar at the Desa Damansara Condominium on this hot, lazy afternoon. That’s when he got sodomized by Anwar.

June 27th, 2008. A shaken and fearful Saiful does not know what to do. He contemplates suicide. He decides to visit his old pal Najib to get some advice.

June 28th, 2008. To help the poor young man, our Defense Minister did the most selfless thing in his capacity – he granted him access to the nation’s most precious “secret weapon” – the Chronosphere time machine.

June 29th, 2008. Saiful becomes the first Malaysian time traveler. This time, he’s a REAL chrononaut and not a “time tourist”.

June 23rd 2008. Saiful ends up 7 days in the past. The time travel experiment was an absolute success.

June 24th 2008. Saiful visits Najib and tells Najib that Anwar had sodomized him. Najib scratches his head at Saiful’s story of time travel, denying all knowledge about a time travel project and a time machine. He tells Saiful to go ahead and do what he likes. Saiful shows Najib the evidence that he’s from the future – the time machine. Najib realizes the truth but he has to conceal it at all cost.

June 25th 2008. Najib brings Saiful’s story to the attention of the Brains of UMNO – Level 4. They decided that this is a good ammunition against their greatest political foe, Anwar Ibrahim, and urges Saiful to make a police report. However, Saiful is a time traveler and he can’t possibly lodge a police report BEFORE the incident had occurred in this timeline! Level 4 advises him to go through the ordeal again but this time, make a police report to implicate Anwar instead of going back in time.

June 26th 2008. Not heeding Level 4’s advice to get shafted by Anwar again, Saiful decided to go into hiding for today. Not being able to sodomize Saiful, Anwar decided to have a meeting with 4 Barisan MPs on the possibility of crossing over to Pakatan.

June 27th 2008. Saiful got slammed by Level 4 and Najib for not carrying out his part of the plan. However, he’s still traumatized by his experience in the previous timeline. Upon further urging and being offered an undisclosed sum of money, Saiful decided to lodge a police report.

June 28th 2008. Saiful abided by rape report procedures and admitted himself into PUSRAWI for a sodomy check-up. To his shock and confusion, the report turned up negative. His anal injuries of the previous timeline were reversed during his trip back in time, and since he didn’t get sodomized in this timeline, there were no signs of injury. Unperturbed, he decided to seek a second opinion at the Kuala Lumpur General Hospital. The result turned up negative as well!

Being a good Muslim and a poor victim of rape during the previous timeline, Saiful decided to lodge a police report anyway, purely out of his righteous stand that justice must be served. And of course, the incentive he got from Level 4 and Najib went a long way towards curing his indecisiveness.

June 29th 2008. The country is in a frenzy. Anwar Ibrahim got slapped with another sodomy allegation 10 years after the last time he was accused of the same thing.

And there you have it! The complete truth of the actual events!!

This actual sequence of events explains everything, namely:

1) Why Saiful insisted that Anwar sodomized him although his anus didn’t show any signs of sodomy.

2) Why Najib said that Saiful had met up personally with him to reveal that he was sodomized by Anwar, but that event took place a few days before the day Saiful claimed to be sodomized.

3) Why, despite the apparent implication that Saiful was sodomized more than once by Anwar (due to him informing Najib that he was sodomized before the 26th of June), Saiful indicated that he was only ever sodomized once.

4) Why Najib is so evasive about the whole issue.. which is, he wanted to cover-up the Malaysian Time Travel project more than anything else, being in the capacity of Minister of Defense.

5) Why Anwar is so confident of his innocence and is able to provide a solid alibi about his whereabouts on that very same day – it’s because he didn’t do it in this timeline, and he WAS indeed with other people at the material time and place.

6) Why the upper echelons in UMNO deployed every manner of state machinery into action to charge Anwar with sodomy – they are going all-out to ensure that justice is upheld and criminals can never escape the long arm of the law, no matter which timeline they’re on.

As I’ve said, the truth is far, far stranger than fiction. Applause and salutes to UMNO and PM Najib. For the interest of maintaining national secrets and national security, and in their capacity as the country’s leaders (and being flawless Muslims at that), they are selfless enough to subject themselves to ridicule; to be portrayed as clueless idiots by the masses; to bear the heavy cross of defending justice and the rule of law across the boundaries of time and space, never to be appreciated by the small-minded citizens; to risk their own reputations and careers for defending the nation and her people no matter how many or how few, right down to defending a single citizen and ensuring that he gets the justice he deserves.

Words can never encapsulate the magnitude of their contributions.