Sometime in 1980, when I was a final year student in London, I had a very short teleconversation with my father. In those days, there were no call cards, Skype or the like and calls were expensive. He had a very simple message - "Dont come home, Son".
By "Ice Cream Seller"
To Deputy Minister Husni,
A story (true) in response to your statement about emigration by ingrates.
Sometime in 1980, when I was a final year student in London, I had a very short teleconversation with my father. In those days, there were no call cards, Skype or the like and calls were expensive. He had a very simple message - "Dont come home, Son".
Now almost 30 years on, I see where he was coming from.
He advised me to stay on in the UK or if I found the weather not to my liking, told me to go to Australia - even if it meant that I may eventually marry a "white girl" as he put it. I was 23 and marriage was certainly not on my mind.
He was a 'pendatang'. This pendatang however secured a scholarship to study in Raffles College (the pre-cursor to the University of Malaya) and served some 30-odd years in various senior teaching positions culminating with the last few years in the Malay College. Amongst his students - a list of past and present ministers and opposition figures.
I didnt heed his advice till last year and spent the last 28 years in Malaysia. However, it became increasingly untenable to work here without compromising my values, integrity and conscience.
Why did he advise me such?
With hindsight, I saw his foresight. As an educationist, he saw we were heading to be another Ceylon (from where he was sent when orphaned), Burma, Philippines and in today's scenario, Zimbabwe.
He saw what the outcome would be when we mess up education with politics.
He saw that religion would be a divisive factor in years to come (he even encouraged me to learn Jawi as a 9 year old).
He believed that in a country like this, mixed marriages would help cement society.
He saw in some of our leaders of yesterday that even in their youth, they had unbridled cunning and only needed an opening to exploit that trait.
He saw in some of his students potential to be PM but said that would never be because they were "too smart for UMNO's liking".
He saw that given our racial demographics, religion would be used as a means to ensure the survival of a particular group.
He believed that eventually, the Malays would have a class war amongst themselves.
He said that even amongst the Malays, many of the English educated would opt to live away from Malaysia.
He told me promotions won't necessarily be given for competence. These are usually won in the Clubs (read political party today) and over a few drinks. Being a bit of an introvert myself, he encouraged me to join clubs, associations and play sports and travel. He said honesty doesn't necessarily pay in this world but still better to be honest and live with dignity.
Our home was (at different times) home to 3 delinquent Chinese boys - sent by the Juvenile court. He volunteered to take them in. Add to that a few other Indian boys. Though not my mother tongue, I spoke to my parents in Malay till I was about 10. We took in a Chinese lady injured during the war and she lived with us for about 40 years till she died. My father referred to her as his mother in law. I thought she was my grandmother even though my mother was not Chinese!!
By the late 70s and early 80s, he saw that this scenario would not likely repeat in the years to come. When he died in 1982, we were pleasantly surprised to see some of his students (by then in their 50s) come from different states for his funeral. One told me that it was my father that made sure he spoke flawless English and another told me how my father would bring the 6th Formers home from the hostel and used our home for dinner and to teach them social graces - including dancing (taught by my mother). Partners were arranged from the convent school with the blessings of the headmistress!!!
29 years on, I view his foresight through the same prism and now agonise as to whether I should tell my children the same. For now, I am allowing my eldest to pursue his tertiary education overseas. Maybe when he finishes, he may not be as shortsighted as I was. Pray God grant him wisdom and vision.
Last year, I resigned from my job, returned the company car and driver, said goodbye to my executive package and moved to Australia where I now live with no maid, no driver, no Audi 2.8, no golf, no teh tarik seessions, no bonus etc but am rediscovering humanity running a humble ice cream shop.
Sometimes we learn very late.
An ice-cream seller
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Comments (28)
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written by popuri, January 26, 2010 08:53:26
written by popuri, January 26, 2010 08:53:26
I will stay and join our brothers and sisters on the front line. We will not tolerate the present government.
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written by popuri, January 26, 2010 08:47:33
written by popuri, January 26, 2010 08:47:33
Dear Ice-cream Seller,
Your father sounds like a good man. Bless his soul.
I'm sad to say, if given the chance, I would also leave. But the circumstances does not allow, therefore I will remain and make the best out of everything.
Your father sounds like a good man. Bless his soul.
I'm sad to say, if given the chance, I would also leave. But the circumstances does not allow, therefore I will remain and make the best out of everything.
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written by mick_err_stan, January 25, 2010 10:18:44
written by mick_err_stan, January 25, 2010 10:18:44
I saw a group of secondary school Malay students in a Indian coffee shop. They were in school uniform but no school bags. They were smoking and talking loudly as if they own the restaurant. As usual the subject matters was about girls and where to party. I am sure because of NEP they really do not need to work hard. A grade 3 will suffice and they will be guaranteed a place in Universities while Pendatangs will have to work harder to excel but no guarantee of place in Uni even with good grades.
From a rationale stand point, whether its Malay, Chinese, Indian or any other race for that matter, under the skin we are the same.....this privilege accorded to one race clearly demonstrate the racist mentality of UMNO/BN. So much for 1 Malaysia.........Apa you cakap ?
From a rationale stand point, whether its Malay, Chinese, Indian or any other race for that matter, under the skin we are the same.....this privilege accorded to one race clearly demonstrate the racist mentality of UMNO/BN. So much for 1 Malaysia.........Apa you cakap ?
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written by Hanuman, January 24, 2010 20:14:42
written by Hanuman, January 24, 2010 20:14:42
I am working overseas becoz its very difficult to cari makan in Malaysia. Ever since I keluar from the country I have been making good money but most important I am respected and I am not discriminated. My contributions are recognised by my adopted country.
My children are well educated and they have heeded my advice to cari makan elsewhere too. Like most "pendatangs", we rather be pendatangs in a new place and be respected and appreciated than be discriminated in our homeland.
However, we are still mindful of those who are being suppressed by the present government. Make no mistake coz we shall return to vote in the next GE. We have not given up hope of coming back. I only hope it will be soon!
My children are well educated and they have heeded my advice to cari makan elsewhere too. Like most "pendatangs", we rather be pendatangs in a new place and be respected and appreciated than be discriminated in our homeland.
However, we are still mindful of those who are being suppressed by the present government. Make no mistake coz we shall return to vote in the next GE. We have not given up hope of coming back. I only hope it will be soon!
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written by Lucius, January 24, 2010 19:19:44
written by Lucius, January 24, 2010 19:19:44
My father ask me to come home and vote the bastard UMNO out the next general election. And I will...
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written by freerpk, January 24, 2010 18:58:19
written by freerpk, January 24, 2010 18:58:19
To all those who stay to fight the good fight, all I can say is I salute the bravery. I have to say that fools go where angels fear to tread but we are no fools. we know the war cannot be won by those who believed in doing the right thing. This is because the cards are stacked against you, not just during election time. They have more of everything, more money, more people to do things. It is like a proton saga racing against a ferrari.....who do you think will win.
For those who go, I realise they must have gone with a heavy heart because no matter what words they have been abused with like "pendatangs" this is still the country there are born into and there their hearts lie. However practicality tells them they have to go just as famine & poverty forced their forefathers hands in those days.
For those who go, I realise they must have gone with a heavy heart because no matter what words they have been abused with like "pendatangs" this is still the country there are born into and there their hearts lie. However practicality tells them they have to go just as famine & poverty forced their forefathers hands in those days.
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written by Awang Kuku, January 24, 2010 17:46:29
written by Awang Kuku, January 24, 2010 17:46:29
I chose to stay because I cannot allow the evil to prevail. I love this country and I want this country to progress to accommodate all people, irrespective of race and religion. I do not want to leave it to the jackals to destroy this beloved land. I want to go to the voting booth and vote out the evil jackals.
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written by jokersland, January 24, 2010 16:44:04
written by jokersland, January 24, 2010 16:44:04
I've five generations and the sixth is coming very soon staying here. I'm from the third generations. Unfortunately, most of the forth generations had to migrate to Australia to further their study all because the gov said they are not qualified enough for local U. But the Australian National U, U of Melbourne, Monash and NSW U welcome them with open arm. So Datuk Husni, it's not because we pendatang are ingrates but because we are discriminates. We have to spent a lot of our sweat money just for educations.
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written by Ben, January 24, 2010 16:34:26
written by Ben, January 24, 2010 16:34:26
If all the ice-cream sellers collectivley vote out the corrupt and replace them with good leaders, we will be better off. We need not seek refuge in other countries. But short of an upheaval, this will happen gradually and not suddenly to avoid unnecessary bloodshed.
As all the Khalid Samads, Lim Guan Engs, Subramaniams, Santiagos, Dompoks and Zaids wait for their turns to lead this country into the next decade, we suggest that PR had better start working hard and smart by engaging the youths in politcal discourse to elevate the government responsiblity and accountability towards the voting rakyat.
Start your engines, get ready , go as it won't be long when we see a change like never before. Be transformed and follow God's will. Amen.
As all the Khalid Samads, Lim Guan Engs, Subramaniams, Santiagos, Dompoks and Zaids wait for their turns to lead this country into the next decade, we suggest that PR had better start working hard and smart by engaging the youths in politcal discourse to elevate the government responsiblity and accountability towards the voting rakyat.
Start your engines, get ready , go as it won't be long when we see a change like never before. Be transformed and follow God's will. Amen.
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written by jereylow, January 24, 2010 16:27:26
written by jereylow, January 24, 2010 16:27:26
I left because I cannot see any hope in our country and the current leadership. I was discriminated from day one in my working life in Malaysia after three years and today I have no reason why I should return. that was more than 25 years ago.
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written by lakian, January 24, 2010 15:34:56
written by lakian, January 24, 2010 15:34:56
can somebody guess if there is a reshuffle in cabinet and happened Datuk Tourist Wong Yen2 is out,is she going to migrate since she was once upon a time holding pr of australia?
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written by by2020, January 24, 2010 15:06:24
written by by2020, January 24, 2010 15:06:24
Dear Batsman,
Do you think the writer earn his executive position because of skin color? Or he is associate to some UMNO/MCA/MIC big shot? You think he can not achieve that in other country? Then you just have to look at how many former Malaysians made it to the high positions in Singapore!
When there is Indonesia-born Khir Toyo calling many generation-resident Malaysian "Pendatang", and he was even elevated to be MB and en mass so much wealth in the process, you think this country worth staying?
When you have old man second generation Mahathir continue shouting he got special right, and he don't even mind sharing it with so many new Muslim "pendatang" but not those hard working true-bred Malaysian, you think you should stay?
Only the Husni who is watching those non-Malay's pocket will try his best to bluff them to stay..., I guess you need not try!
Do you think the writer earn his executive position because of skin color? Or he is associate to some UMNO/MCA/MIC big shot? You think he can not achieve that in other country? Then you just have to look at how many former Malaysians made it to the high positions in Singapore!
When there is Indonesia-born Khir Toyo calling many generation-resident Malaysian "Pendatang", and he was even elevated to be MB and en mass so much wealth in the process, you think this country worth staying?
When you have old man second generation Mahathir continue shouting he got special right, and he don't even mind sharing it with so many new Muslim "pendatang" but not those hard working true-bred Malaysian, you think you should stay?
Only the Husni who is watching those non-Malay's pocket will try his best to bluff them to stay..., I guess you need not try!
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written by storm62, January 24, 2010 14:13:02
written by storm62, January 24, 2010 14:13:02
thanks for sharing ice cream seller, wish you all the best in the Land of Plenty.
well, it's never too late to learn....even at a very old age, we are still learning.
2 things left for us do, either migrate or stay and vote this corrupted racist party OUT next GE !!!
then we shall invite all our countrymen home to rebuilt Malaysia to her glorious days.
well, it's never too late to learn....even at a very old age, we are still learning.
2 things left for us do, either migrate or stay and vote this corrupted racist party OUT next GE !!!
then we shall invite all our countrymen home to rebuilt Malaysia to her glorious days.
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written by ganbing, January 24, 2010 13:52:49
written by ganbing, January 24, 2010 13:52:49
The only remedy is a political change. Vote out the corrupt and racist BN at the next G.E. If these thieves can't be voted out, then GO!
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written by strifus, January 24, 2010 13:15:27
written by strifus, January 24, 2010 13:15:27
To batsman,
Unlike Malayasia where being an Ice-cream seller is job/business of little significance, in Australia it is an actual business usually employing some people. If I told a Malaysian that I was a mechanic, most would not even consider that to be a good occupation at all. In reality, tradespeople such as mechanics are one of the higher earners in terms of income in Australia in comparison to Malaysia which is the opposite. So please, dont knock his profession as he is a businessman.
I will say this now so that there is no mistake. There is some racism in Australia. I have seen it myself and been on the receiving end of such sentiment. However, the bulk of the population in Australia only ask one thing, and that is you be an Australian. In Australia, and probably the UK, they practice what they preach. What Malaysians have to get over is the element of status. Does being an executive make you better than a tradesman? That is one of the major things I see as a fault in Malaysia. People look down on others of lesser ilk.
In Australia, everyone is the same, in terms of the person. The occupation is irrelevent. You are just as much answerable to the law and the people as the various state and federal governments are. Does being a politician make you above the law here? No it does not.
What Malaysians have to do, is get off their fat arses and make a difference. Most Malaysians think that it isnt their place to get involved whether it be fear of retribution or the shame of jail time etc. I know for a fact that if people just go out there and do what they believe in then things would be a lot different. As it stands now there is inaction in the community and until that changes, until the situation is so dire that it forces them to want to make a change, then itll happen. But that wont happen till people see past religion, race and status.
Unlike Malayasia where being an Ice-cream seller is job/business of little significance, in Australia it is an actual business usually employing some people. If I told a Malaysian that I was a mechanic, most would not even consider that to be a good occupation at all. In reality, tradespeople such as mechanics are one of the higher earners in terms of income in Australia in comparison to Malaysia which is the opposite. So please, dont knock his profession as he is a businessman.
I will say this now so that there is no mistake. There is some racism in Australia. I have seen it myself and been on the receiving end of such sentiment. However, the bulk of the population in Australia only ask one thing, and that is you be an Australian. In Australia, and probably the UK, they practice what they preach. What Malaysians have to get over is the element of status. Does being an executive make you better than a tradesman? That is one of the major things I see as a fault in Malaysia. People look down on others of lesser ilk.
In Australia, everyone is the same, in terms of the person. The occupation is irrelevent. You are just as much answerable to the law and the people as the various state and federal governments are. Does being a politician make you above the law here? No it does not.
What Malaysians have to do, is get off their fat arses and make a difference. Most Malaysians think that it isnt their place to get involved whether it be fear of retribution or the shame of jail time etc. I know for a fact that if people just go out there and do what they believe in then things would be a lot different. As it stands now there is inaction in the community and until that changes, until the situation is so dire that it forces them to want to make a change, then itll happen. But that wont happen till people see past religion, race and status.
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written by Midvalley, January 24, 2010 13:11:38
written by Midvalley, January 24, 2010 13:11:38
I am a 3rd generation born in Malaysia Chinese, but I have less right than just migrated Indon, Paskistani, and muslims form muslim countries.
I do not love this country any more because umnoputra Called me "perdatang"
I do not support any games/sports Malaysia play, I do not hoist the Malaysian flag on my car/home.
Why should I care when the country don't give a damn to me..
SAY NO to umNO.
I do not love this country any more because umnoputra Called me "perdatang"
I do not support any games/sports Malaysia play, I do not hoist the Malaysian flag on my car/home.
Why should I care when the country don't give a damn to me..
SAY NO to umNO.
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written by batsman, January 24, 2010 13:06:29
written by batsman, January 24, 2010 13:06:29
UMNO is like a big bully towering over a cowering terrified man and shouting "Run and you are a traitor! Stay and I will beat you black and blue and rob you blind!"
If you give up all your assets and privileges to run away, you will be like ice cream seller. I don't think this is the best option. Those who promote this option to justify your own running away are not considering other options. Pls look at other options.
If you give up all your assets and privileges to run away, you will be like ice cream seller. I don't think this is the best option. Those who promote this option to justify your own running away are not considering other options. Pls look at other options.
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written by batsman, January 24, 2010 12:51:54
written by batsman, January 24, 2010 12:51:54
Dear ice cream seller - hope you can clear my confusion. You say that inspite of all the discirmination and insults thrown at you you were able to achieve company car and executive package with driver, maid, big bonus, etc, etc. This means theory is bad but in practice life is good.
In Australia on the other hand, the theory seems good - you claim no discrimination etc, but in practice you are only an ice cream seller.
Are you a practical man or a theoretical man? Do you place emphasis on theory or practice?
This is important since, it would seem there is a trend towards electoral support for UMNO again, especially from the Chinese. so I would ask whether it is a Chinese characteristic to place more emphasis on practice (i.e. it is the economy, stupid) or on theory (we are being discriminated against, but we should also vote for UMNO since we know where our butter comes from).
I have trouble understanding. Can you help?
In Australia on the other hand, the theory seems good - you claim no discrimination etc, but in practice you are only an ice cream seller.
Are you a practical man or a theoretical man? Do you place emphasis on theory or practice?
This is important since, it would seem there is a trend towards electoral support for UMNO again, especially from the Chinese. so I would ask whether it is a Chinese characteristic to place more emphasis on practice (i.e. it is the economy, stupid) or on theory (we are being discriminated against, but we should also vote for UMNO since we know where our butter comes from).
I have trouble understanding. Can you help?
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written by Desert Fox, January 24, 2010 12:40:06
written by Desert Fox, January 24, 2010 12:40:06
Leaving Malaysia was the best thing I have done as my QUALITY of life has improved so much, eg. sleep well as I don't think of house break ins, walk freely as I don't have to worry about handbag snatching, kids have wonderful teachers, government agencies that I deal with are so decent, people I meet are all making an honest living and civilized, the air is so fresh, environment is clean, the media is informative/educational, the food meets safety standards and costs only a fraction of total income, need I go on? But I still log on to MT every morning and night as I want Malaysia to be a better place. Waiting to vote in next GE.
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written by Faith, January 24, 2010 12:26:18
written by Faith, January 24, 2010 12:26:18
Sorry, I meant "But we can no longer stand the government. NOT the way it is".
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written by Faith, January 24, 2010 12:23:21
written by Faith, January 24, 2010 12:23:21
If my 3 children ask me about leaving for Singapore, Australia or USA, I will just tell them GO! I don't have to think further, I have had enough thinking about this issue!
The eldest is a surgeon and Singapore is always a-calling. The second and her husband are physiotherapists; they like Australia and Australia need the likes of them. The third and his wife are in senior IT management with a US company and the company will be happy to have them there.
So why stay? Better future for the grandchildren!! And I have more places to visit too!
Do not misunderstand me. We are patriotic and we love Malaysia.
But we can no longer stand the government. No the way it is.
The eldest is a surgeon and Singapore is always a-calling. The second and her husband are physiotherapists; they like Australia and Australia need the likes of them. The third and his wife are in senior IT management with a US company and the company will be happy to have them there.
So why stay? Better future for the grandchildren!! And I have more places to visit too!
Do not misunderstand me. We are patriotic and we love Malaysia.
But we can no longer stand the government. No the way it is.
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written by hplooi, January 24, 2010 11:56:42
written by hplooi, January 24, 2010 11:56:42
I think the Honorable Deputy Minister Husni do not mean all you "Pendatangs".
He probably meant the bumiputras who are also emigrating and giving up their Malaysian passports!
Apologies to the Minister if he really IS ALL INCLUSIVE.
For years, the mind-set is "keluar, kalau you tak suka..." (i.e. to the pendatangs).
Even till today there has been NO overt repudiation of this policy.
So to all you ex-Malaysians, soon-to-be-ex-Malaysians, comtemplating-to-be-ex-Malaysians DO NOT get you heckles raised. A certain Ahmad Said, Zul Noordin and prominent people who walk the corridor of power will certainly NOT be raring to agree with you... quite the opposite.
Damansara Utama
He probably meant the bumiputras who are also emigrating and giving up their Malaysian passports!
Apologies to the Minister if he really IS ALL INCLUSIVE.
For years, the mind-set is "keluar, kalau you tak suka..." (i.e. to the pendatangs).
Even till today there has been NO overt repudiation of this policy.
So to all you ex-Malaysians, soon-to-be-ex-Malaysians, comtemplating-to-be-ex-Malaysians DO NOT get you heckles raised. A certain Ahmad Said, Zul Noordin and prominent people who walk the corridor of power will certainly NOT be raring to agree with you... quite the opposite.
Damansara Utama
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written by gaman, January 24, 2010 11:30:05
written by gaman, January 24, 2010 11:30:05
It is indeed very sad, our birhtplace which we call our homeland is no more our homeland. Instead we're branded as "PENDATANG". but the real "PENDATANG" (Indons, Pino, etc) are now the "KETUANAN" of my homeland. Mr. ICE-CREAM SELLER, you're indeed luckier than me. You're now in an Australian citizen. If I have the financial resources, I'll definitely join the bandwagon. Why should I cry for "HOMELAND"?
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written by passion, January 24, 2010 10:41:47
written by passion, January 24, 2010 10:41:47
you know guys, this husni is isolated voice among the morons in this case. the ketuanan are in dilemma again. they know well if you dont leave, you will vote them out. so you see, some quietly see you guys leave without comments, some will wish you leave. this is bigger dilemma than the mahakhutir dilemma. destructive trap they set themselves in.
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written by gewdgreef, January 24, 2010 10:40:46
written by gewdgreef, January 24, 2010 10:40:46
Leave or stay, I'll sure be at the Voting Booths to make my thoughts count!
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written by Semuaok, January 24, 2010 10:25:19
written by Semuaok, January 24, 2010 10:25:19
Dear Ice-Cream Seller you said:
"29 years on, I view his foresight through the same prism and now agonize as to whether I should tell my children the same."
and
"Sometimes we learn very late."
***********************************************
Apparently your father was decisive and clear but you are pretty confuse and hasn't make up your mind.
I don't think I'm qualify to advise you but I'm just curious why can't your kid go home, unless you still call Malaysia your home.
Semuaok
"29 years on, I view his foresight through the same prism and now agonize as to whether I should tell my children the same."
and
"Sometimes we learn very late."
***********************************************
Apparently your father was decisive and clear but you are pretty confuse and hasn't make up your mind.
I don't think I'm qualify to advise you but I'm just curious why can't your kid go home, unless you still call Malaysia your home.
Semuaok
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written by sonofmalaysia, January 24, 2010 09:21:27
written by sonofmalaysia, January 24, 2010 09:21:27
I have another suggestion,
Ask your son to come back, and ask your son's friends to come back all, register as voter and vote in the GE13 !
We have a good chance. With a bit luck , no MAlaysian parents need to say this very sad line to their sons and daughters ever again !!
If GE13 fails then you can say you have tried .
Ask your son to come back, and ask your son's friends to come back all, register as voter and vote in the GE13 !
We have a good chance. With a bit luck , no MAlaysian parents need to say this very sad line to their sons and daughters ever again !!
If GE13 fails then you can say you have tried .
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written by arazak, January 24, 2010 09:06:36
written by arazak, January 24, 2010 09:06:36
Dear Ice-Cream Seller,
Thanks for sharing your story and the lessons you have learnt. I think we have learnt enough from this thieving tyrant UMNO-BN regime too. And enough is enough!
I will definitely say the same thing to my son too!
How about the rest of you?
Thanks for sharing your story and the lessons you have learnt. I think we have learnt enough from this thieving tyrant UMNO-BN regime too. And enough is enough!
I will definitely say the same thing to my son too!
How about the rest of you?
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